I have always been somewhat straightforward in my blog entries.
I think it's time I change up my style of writing a bit.
I don't know, it's hard to explain. I mean, it won't be like opaquely unclear.
Maybe translucent? Like a pile of a shit smeared on a window.
Man, I'm so fucking hilarious.
Let's see if I can manage indirectly conveying how I really feel. Well, I'll attempt to.

Goddamn it,
I'm already failing, as we speak.

Okay, nevermind, maybe not.
I wish that I could be that one person who gets along with anyone, and just about everyone genuinely. Not the usual, slightly close-minded, & even fake kind of "getting along" just because you want to be popular by only trying to become friends with ALL the "popular" kids & well-liked because you hang out with the "popular" kids.. No no, not that. But the kind where you can wear the grimiest clothes and you arrive at your usual destination like school, for example, & no one would care because you're that one person(possibly there will be at least one out of a million, or none) who is simple, friendly, funny, kind, soft-spoken, selfless, & not judgmental.
We tend to..build up images for ourselves, & when we decide step out of our comfort zone & attempt something out of the ordinary, meaning doin' something your friends would least expect you to do..there will be this great riot about your sanity.
"What is he doing, talking to that freako?"
"What the hell? Since when does he kick it with the soccer players?"
"What the fuck, why is she wearing overalls?"
That kind of thing. Even the smallest, shallowest thing like wearing Skechers instead of the usual stylish Uggs or Converse, Vans, etc., "Who the hell wears Skechers nowadays, let alone HER?" TRUST ME, there will certainly be some kind of shit to be said about you. It's fucking ridiculous.
I guess..what I'm saying is that I will never be that person.
Because I care a great deal about what others think, & I tend to judge, quite frankly maybe a little too much for my own good. & the people surrounding me are just adding fuel to the fire, constantly judging me, others, & if they have the decency to do so, themselves.

God,
I know that I keep griping about wanting to graduate already & a fair amount of people always counter back saying, "Watch, when you do, you'll miss high school so much you'll take everything back & wish the total opposite." But I think I really do mean it.
I can't wait to graduate.
There's this huge possibility that I am moving to Texas with my whole family.
My sister's already an established nurse in the state, & she wants to buy a house for my parents. & my second oldest sister wants to move there to most likely raise a family with her boyfriend. & my parents are always gushing in a sickening way about how beautiful it is in Austin, & everything is so much cheaper. So yeah, I think they're just waiting for me to graduate, & for my dad to obtain his retirement paraphernalia, & we are out of Killa Cali.
I haven't really told any of my friends,
& I'm sorry if you had to find out through this shitty excuse for a personal website but..hey, you still heard it from me just not audio-wise.

Oh, I almost forgot.
I am seriously royally aggravated to no end about this one issue that I am about to address.
So, PARAMORE is one of my favorite bands. & I find it very, very irritatingly unsettling hearing all these squealing about how fucking AMAZING their song, Decode is. Because the lyrics are "SOOOO AW-SUM!!" hey, man. It is a pretty down-ass song, but the fact that they've only recently heard it because the video finally came out on MTV along with some exclusive clips from Twilight: the Movie. (fucking sick-ass clips, I might add. Making it very difficult not to squirm in your seat seeing Robert Pattinson finally in your own TV screen; high quality & not from shitty YouTube videos...okay, sorry, that was a long parenthesised side statement).
Okay, to be blunt, it makes me want to vomit my food out projectilely when people only give a song their time of the day when it becomes mainstream & they claim to be, like, the biggest fucking fans of Paramore. Listen to albums, All We Know is Falling, & RIOT!, & then come talk to me, & maybe I'll squeal with you.


DAMN! I failed.
I miserably failed at being indirect.