:breathes:

BOYS OVER FLOWERS IN 10 MINUTES !! :)




It makes me miss Meteor Garden.
It's different in a way. Meteor Garden takes place in a university, & BOF are high school students. & some situations are done differently but all in all, it is very similar.
Blewpblewpblewpppppp I WANNA WANNA WANNA watch Meteor Garden again, again againnn. If only I can find the tapes. OH WAIT, we have the DVD. Wow, total fail.
I will schedule a marathon.
& I have so many movies I want to watch.
OKAY BOYS OVER FLOWERS IN FIVE MINUTES, I REALLY HAVE GOT TO GO.
Tomorrow will be a happppppy day because we get out school at 1:18! but not me, 'cause I get out EARLIER ! Muahahahah

Stupid babo Kang Min ,



Well, how was everyone's day?
I've been playing too much Warriors Orochi 2, & sometimes I wished I had more of a life than the life I live now. It's not that I'm unsatisfied(okay, I am. A little.) but I want adventure.
I've been saying that shit for the past three years, & yes I've had some adventures but lately, it hasn't been enough. I need more than spontaneity. I actually want something to happen. I want to learn something, I want to see something starkly weird that I would not be able to recoil from its weirdness, I want.. I don't know. Something unprecedented.
Also, I've been watching too much YouTube videos, & they just make me laugh to a point where I'm on the verge of pissing my pants. I actually made a video with Jamie, but I used bitch ass Windows Movie Maker & it made my decrepit laptop crash.
Aishhh..

Ooh, today, I bite my thumb at Arigato Sushi.
15 fucking dollars for an order of chicken katsu. Like really? Really.
Truly, truly disappointing. It makes me want to cry because of all the FAIL it augmented to my already somewhat lousy night.
I will never, ever, ever eat there ever again. They most likely made a mistake by charging me more, & bluffed that they raised up the prices to hustle more money from my broke ass.
Damn Asians, so greedy. GREEDY, GREEDY, GREEDY.
Ooooh, man I is angry.

DAAAMN, check out those arms.
HAHA, I don't know, random, I know. But he's workin' hard to live up to Jacob's "GROWTH". Good job, Taylor. I think I may like you now

Jacob, what?!

Haha!
I was just loookin' up the wolf pack casted for New Moooon, & I must say, the actor playing Paul is fuckin' mad gorgeous, haha! I think his name is Alex Meraz?
They all look pretty promising.

Just go on google, type in New Moon wolf pack.

I'm pretty bummed about Solomon Trimble & Krys Smokey-Desperado not being part of the cast.
They were those two sexy boys that featured in Twilight at the La Push scene when Jacob went up to Bella.
"The Cullens don't come here." <- Solomon as Sam; that scene. & the little cutie in the middle? I just assumed he was Embry. But his real name is Krys Smokey-Desperado or whatever he said his name was.

Nothing's like before.

You know, because nothing has been like before. But in a way everything changes so fast that what is now can change tomorrow. So come tomorrow; it will be nothing like today.


Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all.

True for the some parts, false for the most part.
Real talk though, warnings make life so much easier so I can mentally prepare myself.
But then what's the use of spontaneity & randomness if we get warned every time?

I know I like contradicting myself.



I want Seoul Kalbi,
their Seoul Special is so joomies.
Sizzling meat, unlimited sticky rice, an array of side dishes. Makes me love life.
OK BYE

Stop standing on your tiptoes, sit back, relax, & breathe.
It's time to live life for yourself. Embrace happiness because you know you now know you have the ability to make yourself happy.
You will be alright.
You will be.

"You should stop thinking about the immediate causes and think about the future. Right now, it'll be hard. But you'll work on it, and in the long run, it'll work."

In other words,
you will be alright.

Fuck, I think I fucked up.
I'm sorry.

What does it take? How long must I wait?

My eyes sting. & my fingers are freezing. I want to go upstairs but either way, I'm already convulsing because everything fucking hurts & I know I can do something about it but I choose not to. I choose not to because it's better off that way. Because if words flow out of my mouth, I might just lose this impending battle that I've been fighting for so long. I'd rather keep my mouth shut & not lose. I'd rather stay in this gray area than use strategical ways & cause my downfall. I'm not making sense,huh? I know. I never make sense. You should know that by now.

There will come a day when something will be finally worth fighting for.
Someone worth fighting for.

Wow, Ling.
Total fucking fail.
All kinds of wrong in one compilation.
Wow, fail.
FAIL
FUCKING FAIL

I need redemption.

I think I have a splinter on my right forefinger. I don't know how I got but it hurts like a bruise but there's nothing there, just when I run my thumb through it, I feel a vein snake around. Weird, huh? Like it's not protruding or anything but damn, it hurts.

You know who I miss? Kristin Nicole Marcelino. She's probably going to kill me for putting her full name here, but it's okay, she loves me enough to overlook my faults. No, really. She's seen me through my worst & she never walked away. Ah, I miss you, dorkface. Shit, I remember that. Our conversations starting around 7 or 8 & ending at 5 AM. Talking about nothing, talking about everything.
I've seen that girl grow up, seen her already kind heart become even kinder. I've seen her fall & rise even higher. And even when I met her at 12 years old about four & a half years ago, it never ceased to amaze me how mature she was, at fucking 12 years old. I learned a lot from her even though I was two years older.
This girl & I are too similar for our own good. We finish each other's sentences, & hate the same kind of people. Mainly because she hates who I end up hating & I hate who she ends up hating because we know, man, we just know. It's like infrared.
She's never judgmental & she's not afraid to put me in the right state of mind because she knows I'm about to fuck up.
I admire her because she leaves a profoundly memorable impression on people, & I wish I had that.
When someone calls me a dork, she's the first one that automatically pops into my head. Because that's what she calls me, all the time. Like a term of endearment even though it's the slang term of a whale's penis.
& to this day, she still calls me that.
I love how things never change with her.

I don't know. This is one of those random spasms of gratitude & love.
I told you, I get them on occasions.

Byeee

What the fug, how you does that? Follow a blog? -_-

Or put in that shit, that um, "Follow Me" link or whatever.

Anyway, today was a fucking hot ass day.

& last night, I was going insane.

I'm going to go scavenger-hunt for food at my house,
& then play Warriors Orochi 2.

I'd Wish Myself Away

Today, you had an epiphany.
You can't force something that's already been decided. Whether it's a decision made against you or for you.
You know you're always vague about philosophical shit but everyone must learn the hard way for their own good.

Please Look At Me, I'm Here Waiting For You

You can't keep going back to your past, no matter how much you miss it. No matter how comfortable it was, no matter how loved you felt, no matter how refreshed you felt, no matter how inspired you felt. You can't turn back the hands of time. You've already learned that the moment you experienced your first heartbreak. You remember vowing to yourself that your first heartbreak will be your last, but inevitably, it won't be. It won't, it just won't. You are so young, so eager, so loving. Your heartbreaks will be numerous, & will vary from small ones to big ones. So prepare yourself.

And You Don't Even Feel A Thing

You don't know what you did but you blame yourself because you've grown accustomed to always being the one to fuck up. You run away hoping to be sought after but you end up letting yourself when you don't see a figure grasping for your arm so you can come back because everything will be alright. You don't cry because you tell yourself it's not worth it, that nothing that hurts you is ever worth it but you know for a fact, you'd rather experience the pain than having to numb yourself to feel nothing. But you're the only who does. You repeat the word unrequited to yourself & you feel yourself convulse.

I Can't Hear Anymore, But I Can Feel You Breathe

You reach out hoping someone will hold your hand but your hand clutches thin air. You need but you are no longer needed. You want but you are no longer wanted. You speak but you are not spoken to. You have been dismissed.

Today,
I donated blood.
It was a very fascinating experience.
Now I feel accomplished.
I don't know why but I do.
I mean I did something that many people would cringe at the sound of.
I watched the needle go in involuntarily, I was pretty out of it. It wasn't that bad.
Well! Ghost Hunters time then sleep.
Goooodnight!

OH, happy 14th, JNice :)

Dear Terius Youngdell Nash AKA The-Dream,
Love vs. Money is genius.
I think I love you.

Will we ever get what we deserve?

I am easily irritated lately, no joke. But it doesn't even take that long for me to recoil & realize that I'm being a bitch, then I become my usual self.
It's weird.

Damn it, I hate how much I long to love. It's so stupid of me. I know that I need to stop looking for it because it'll end up being forced & that's not..mm, not cool, because a lot confuse actual love with the idea of being in love. I could be one of them.
Stupid dramas, & all that shit, yo. It knocks the wind out of me because of how cute they are.
But we all know coincidences like that never happen.
Love like that does not really exist.
I'm not being bitter,
just realistic.

I forgot when but I made onigiri without the seaweed & it was pretty good. Although I failed a couple of times but all I needed was a mixture of water & oil. I put on a pair of plastic gloves & submerged them in the solution & massaged the rice with it. Yep.
That is what I did.
I used salmon & egg.
It was delicious.

So in other news, negatively speaking,
school is really panic-stricken, at the moment because the WASC (Western Association of Schools & Colleges) arrived at Kennedy on Sunday afternoon for..how should I say.. inspection? Inspection should be universally correct, in terms of what their purpose is. They basically come, check shit out, & decide if they'd accredit us or not based on what we represent as the student body. & I guess it's just not the students either; also the staff & shit, & just about everything.
Accreditation is important, because if the school doesn't get accredited, our diplomas won't mean jack shit.
& that's four years of nothing, basically.
But I'm pretty certain we'll receive accreditation. Hopefully.
Aye, fuck, we have to.

I really hate this inconsistent weather. It triggers my fevers, & I am running one right now. It's not at its peak but I feel like passing out. So, I guess I'll take off, & go to sleep.

By the way,
I'm playing tennis again.
I'm really happy about that, even though I suck fucking balls at backhand.

& I am done with my college paraphernalia.
I start school on the day I turn 19.
& I just had a sad thought run through my mind, that if I was still in high school, I'd have cake & balloons.
But I won't be & no that won't happen, because, we're all going our separate ways.
It's like, boom, boom, boom, realization after realization & you can't recoil but you have to deal with it.
We all had it easy in high school, same faces, same friends, same teachers.
I'm just bracing myself for everything.

Damn it, now I'm fucking depressed.