Can a person just honestly stop loving? I don't want to believe a fucking word of it.

I don't understand.
I will never understand.

I'm a female,
I don't know what I want,
but I know who I love, who I've loved.

It's just.
Goddamn.

I can't fucking sleep.
I'm not tired.
I'm afraid I'm losing the least bit sanity I have left.
& here I am writing such an inspiring blog about being strong & finally living for yourself.
But my mind fluctuates.
It's why I can't sleep.
I think, think, think, think.
About everything,
everyone.
Significant, or insignificant.


I just,
I don't know.


"It's hurts for us to be apart, but right now, at this time in our lives, we just can't be together."


One day,
there will come a day
where I will finally just know.

There was a significantly sizable amount of time in my life where I knew the answers to what I wanted, needed, had to do, must do.
But you know, shit happens. Shit will happen that will cause you to be starkly stripped off your light to the knowledge you possessed.
Knowledge of love, in my case. It goes way deeper than what I'm saying right now
but I can't think straight. At all.

I have a fucking 3-day-old headache that's still throbbing in my temples,
& my heart hurts so much.

But hey,
I've brought this upon myself.
That's the only reason why I'm the one to blame for this,
& the only reason I need.


But..(let me contradict myself one last time),
let me ask this question again,
can someone just stop loving a person like that?
Just like that.
In a short amount of time, a series of months.
Can someone really lose their love for a person?

I don't want to believe it.
But I have to.

I'll try to understand.
Even though they will never understand what we had.