This is a wake-up call.

I just got cussed out by one of my very good friends.
& I had no idea how horrible I am as a person until I'm shot in the face with it.

"Ling, how are you going to leave me hanging like this?
Dude, you ever wonder why I stopped talking to you so much? You treat me like a fucking video game. Like you can come talk to me whenever & how ever and when you don't feel like talking anymore you leave whether it's convenient or because you're feeling bipolar or whatever. People are fucking PEOPLE.
We have minds and we think about the things you do to us. Even when you're not there, the world isn't there for you to interact with it and turn it off when you're done.
Fucking think about that.
What I just told you applies to everyone around you. Not just me."

Now someone who's so mellow, & hardly ever gets pissed off can cuss at you with so much anger, aversion, hostility, & displeasure just opens your eyes.
To make you see how you're really treating others. How oblivious you are to how many people you take for granted, how many people you're actually treating like shit.

A similar incident happened on New Year's Eve, or the morning of New Year's Eve.
I was being a bitch to Hieu.
& I signed off on him.
Obviously, you know, if that happened to me, I'd most likely be very fucking angry.
& he gave me comment with such words that I've never seen him use on me..ever.
I didn't go to sleep 'til six o'clock.
I was in a daze. & in shock, & I was thinking to myself, I must be a very horrible person to have someone like Hieu to curse like a pirate & directed towards me at that.
When Bryan(quoted above) cussed at me, it reminded me of how I felt when Hieu did it. They have similar personalities. Very chill, almost like water. Gets along with everyone, would never have any unnecessary animosity towards people, genuinely helpful, & caring.
& here I am, getting chewed out by two of the nicest guys in the world.
It's like, reality knocked on my door in a discourteous manner & it sucks because I was asking for it.

It's funny because,
I've always felt like total bludgeoned soul when people take me for granted,
& yet, I do it to others.

So, to whoever I've taken for granted,
& treated like you're unimportant to me.
I'm very sorry.
Especially Mike, my best friend in the whole world.
I know for a fact that I've taken him for granted quite a lot for all the years that we've been friends.
I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.
This may seem insincere because it's online,
but I promise with the pain in my back..
that
I am so deeply
fucking..
sorry.