I'd Wish Myself Away

Today, you had an epiphany.
You can't force something that's already been decided. Whether it's a decision made against you or for you.
You know you're always vague about philosophical shit but everyone must learn the hard way for their own good.

Please Look At Me, I'm Here Waiting For You

You can't keep going back to your past, no matter how much you miss it. No matter how comfortable it was, no matter how loved you felt, no matter how refreshed you felt, no matter how inspired you felt. You can't turn back the hands of time. You've already learned that the moment you experienced your first heartbreak. You remember vowing to yourself that your first heartbreak will be your last, but inevitably, it won't be. It won't, it just won't. You are so young, so eager, so loving. Your heartbreaks will be numerous, & will vary from small ones to big ones. So prepare yourself.

And You Don't Even Feel A Thing

You don't know what you did but you blame yourself because you've grown accustomed to always being the one to fuck up. You run away hoping to be sought after but you end up letting yourself when you don't see a figure grasping for your arm so you can come back because everything will be alright. You don't cry because you tell yourself it's not worth it, that nothing that hurts you is ever worth it but you know for a fact, you'd rather experience the pain than having to numb yourself to feel nothing. But you're the only who does. You repeat the word unrequited to yourself & you feel yourself convulse.

I Can't Hear Anymore, But I Can Feel You Breathe

You reach out hoping someone will hold your hand but your hand clutches thin air. You need but you are no longer needed. You want but you are no longer wanted. You speak but you are not spoken to. You have been dismissed.