What does it take? How long must I wait?

My eyes sting. & my fingers are freezing. I want to go upstairs but either way, I'm already convulsing because everything fucking hurts & I know I can do something about it but I choose not to. I choose not to because it's better off that way. Because if words flow out of my mouth, I might just lose this impending battle that I've been fighting for so long. I'd rather keep my mouth shut & not lose. I'd rather stay in this gray area than use strategical ways & cause my downfall. I'm not making sense,huh? I know. I never make sense. You should know that by now.

There will come a day when something will be finally worth fighting for.
Someone worth fighting for.