Will we ever get what we deserve?

I am easily irritated lately, no joke. But it doesn't even take that long for me to recoil & realize that I'm being a bitch, then I become my usual self.
It's weird.

Damn it, I hate how much I long to love. It's so stupid of me. I know that I need to stop looking for it because it'll end up being forced & that's not..mm, not cool, because a lot confuse actual love with the idea of being in love. I could be one of them.
Stupid dramas, & all that shit, yo. It knocks the wind out of me because of how cute they are.
But we all know coincidences like that never happen.
Love like that does not really exist.
I'm not being bitter,
just realistic.