I ain't gonna play it cool, let me tell you I've tried that already.


I've been tired lately.

I think cynical people are hilarious. I've been making up really sarcastic characters in my head. I had this one scenario where a woman who was known to be an intense cynic gave birth. Her sister gushes, "Oh my god, your baby boy is beautiful."
And it's pure comedy, what came next in my head,
the woman says, "What the fuck? It's a fucking infant. It looks like an alien. How can it be beautiful?"
I would like to meet someone who would actually say that. I do.

Today my dad asks me in a very tired voice, "Hey, when are you getting your license?"
I speculate for a good minute and tell him that I didn't know, I had no idea. Driving seems like such a long shot, but I know it's not. I didn't learn how to drive until November of last year. Jamie taught me. She's made me drive after that a couple of times just around a park. And then she made me drive on the road, for real. I almost rammed her car against a huge fucking tree. I think I've written about this. But anyway, I was just all traumatized. I mean I was laughing about it but just that feeling that I feel like I can never learn because I am too scared just disappoints me but I can't help it. I am scared. Other drivers intimidate me. What if I lose control of the steering wheel? Fuck.
I don't know. I should watch Fast&Furious again. It truly inspired me to drive. I was telling my sister that I want to learn manual and I am going to be such a badass with my non-automatic car. But the inspiration dissipated on the quickness.
I guess I'll study the handbook then take my permit test.
But dude, I'm 18, permit-less and license-less. Pathetic and useless. My best traits.

Time to go dream about driving that import that Paul Walker drove.