I'm still awake & I have to wake up early tomorrow.
Nothing good is ever on television anymore.
I have to wake up early tomorrow.
I've already written that.
I am a mess, I repeat myself now more than ever.
My left eye is twitching.
Jamie thinks I never listen to her but I think it's just I forget what she tells me.
I don't know, it's either of the two.
Something is wrong with me.
My stomach is growling but I'm not even hungry.
I got a new laptop as a graduation present. Have I already written about this?
Jessica Natasha Miller; I love you. She makes me the happiest. My best friend, my best friend forever. i love you,Jessfufubear.
It says on my Facebook I am in a relationship with her. It's an inside joke. I think some people will misunderstand & think that I am a lesbian. I laugh inside because I like how people are so closed-motherfucking-minded sometimes.
Why can't people be with the ones they love/like, it don't matter if they're of the same sex. I honestly think that everyone deserves happiness. Everyone. You all know that already. But I guess there's always that inevitability of negativity & animosity towards the whole issue. Why do you think Prop 8 passed? Fucking homophobes can get fucked in the ass. Maybe they'll even like it, no? Damn, now I am angry. Angry like a rhino.
Kevin Kim; sponge. He is a sponge.
And I am sleepy.
I don't know.
I have so many things, too many things to think about, talk about, sort out.
I miss school; high school. High school, my second home. I walked through there today. Trespassed, perhaps but I don't care. I was way past nostalgia. But I couldn't do anything. I am done with high school. I have to grow up. "Growing up sucks =( " , real talk.
My brain ain't functioning right anymore. I don't know.
Summer bliss.
Summer's been so much fun lately. I think that's the only thing I got for now. The only thing for us. Phoebe. Phoebe Mae. Is leaving the valley to Stockton for college.
Adrian said, "Fuck, what am I going to do without her?"
That just shows how much impact she's had on certain people.
I've grown so accustomed to the fact that she's always going to be there, when I need her. One phone call away, at school, I will see her during lunch anyway, or that she's only five blocks away. But she doesn't live here anymore, she's only in the valley for the summer. It hasn't hit me yet. But the resentment is there...resentment for us having to grow up, hah. The sadness..that we can't always be together. The fear that maybe we won't be as close as we always have been. Fuck! Fuck.. horrible. My heart hurts. It all started with Phoebe Mae, the reason why I started loving high school so much is because I met her. & she even made Mike & I even closer than we already were if that was possible.
Mike..Mike, Mike, my brother, main homie, best friend for reall for real, at least I still have that fool. He finds me annoying sometimes, I know it..but he's always so patient with me.
Why am I writing about all this?
I like to be sentimental sometimes.
Actually, no, I'm sentimental all the time.
I have been swimming a lot lately.
I am very dark again.
I haven't been this dark since 2006.
I am exhausted but I feel like what I've written is shit compared to what I used to write.
Have I gone rusty? I sincerely hope not.
I will write more, I promise.
Promise to myself. myself. It's better if I promise myself.